Just a couple...

We can't really remember the context of this one but we seem to think it must be something to do with "vegetarian vampires" as it was at a Twilight party.
"Aye, bu if you eat poisoned cheese so that someone else doesn't die it doesn't mean you don't have to pee."

I think he's just stupid. Like he's a retarded cat.

Hello Tara Reid. Who's just...Shite! She is just shite. She is!

*watching a program about celebrity arrests*
Domestic battery is just not cool anymore, everyone's getting arrested for it!

...and then Coke came out of my nose!

That was an example of me being truly classy over dinner last week. In a pub. Full of people. It was delightful.

It's been a while so here's what I've saved up for you!

Do you want some inspirational music? Cos I don't have any...

(on the depressing music, in a pub close to Edinburgh uni halls)
What is this? The Edinburgh University Suicide Association?

(on Galinda changing her name ine Wicked and then appearing as the good withch in the Wizard of Oz)
Glinda is a sell-out whore!

(on the music)
I have issues with not knowing who's singing.

I need a straw!

I swallowed, and it didn't come out of my nose this time!

(on a story)
Is that it? I was expecting there to be more, and there was none.

After about half an hour of hysterical laughter and giggles we found it hilarious that a woman leaving the pub started laughing...

(on Ali keeping James Corden and Patrick Stumph in her pockets as they're so cute)
Can I live in your pocket too?
No! There will be no fornicating in my pockets! Just think of the mess!

You can't shape-shift into something that doesn't exist. That's just retarded. (Because shape-shifting into things that do exist is the epitome of intelligence.)

Is it snowing?..

...Not in here!

More quotes! :)

Get out of my house you rancid whore!
I'm missing some socks...

Yeah, he was really pretty, then he grew a beard and he just looked Australian.

Tusdays are worse than Mondays cos they're like Mondays in disguise.

More like I thought I saw something and then I thought I didn't but I did.

I used to dance to this, we did a square dance to it. At my dance class. Where we danced.

I'm wearing Christmas socks!

It was just time to say "woo"

Eat the penis! (jelly)

*biting Ali with the fang charm on her bracelet*
It tickles!

*during a laughing fit*
The music is making it worse!

*Playing with the fang charm on Ali's bracelet*
Vampires don't have fangs.
This one does.
Well, not anymore he doesn't.
No, cos I staked him.
And now all that's left are his teeth, like a trophy!

*discussing Twilight*
I like jumpy things!

Are you writing quotes from tonight? *said through a moutful of crumbs*
As said as she spits everywhere!
It's ok, they're back in now.

*discussing 90s fashions*
Notice the similarity? He stole that from Sonia. Cunt.

*phone beeps*
That's not mine.
You sure?
Yeah, it came from over there *points*
It came from the past?

The Backstreet Boys have been hired by Arial to wear all white clothes.
"Look how easily it removes this oil stain!"
"Airport stain! It's really hard to get out!"

I want it *that* way *points at arse*

I've only seen one (of two) hamster recently.
Was it the same one over and over?

I like that hat.
It's mine.
Really? We thought it belonged to Jesus.
Well it did used to belong to Jesus.

I love how mother's always say things like that. Like "She's only jealous because she's not drunk and vomitting everywhere."

Scaring at home.

We didn't venture out today but managed some good quotes...

Do you watch Mythbusters?
No.
Well, basically it's these two guys who try and bust myths.
... *pause for hysterical laughter*
Is that like bust a move?

Sam's repeated quote "And she did!"

One day, one month, one year in Orkney...

I hope you get Syphillis and die.

Go fist yourself/Go get a crepe Louise/Go suck on a Starburst/Go fuck a tree

Well, there was this time I got raped by a tree.
Oh stop lying! Make it believable.
Besides, we warned you about getting drunk and dressing provocatively to attract trees.
Yeah, I need to stop that... I think it's becoming a problem, just wearing leaves over my nipples. Though I did get the look from the first woman to ever come to Earth...

Dirty whore!
Yeah, I know.

The laptop is just beeping cos it's tired.
Oh, does it need a nap?
Yeah, I'll wake it up in a minute by sticking an electric cable in it...

Today's scaring.

Well it's been a while, damn uni and work and stuff but today we not only made it out on a scaring trip but I remembered to update!

We started fairly normally but by the end of lunch had the manager of Pizza Hut laughing at us and asking if we'd had too much sugar (he did keep giving us fizzy pop and cake).

A laughing fit ensued on Geroge St about Ali's "Nifty foot holding on device" (her sock).

As we were coming round from that particular fit I saw a taxi with Boogie and Arlene on it (Forth1's breakfast show). Cue me shouting "That's not what he looks like!"

There was also umbrella brandishing (I have the coolest umbrella), random laughter outbursts that got us plenty of funny looks and a running commentary on Twilight, including singing along to all the songs!